“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

“The Lies Women Believe” is a book that changed my life. It’s sad the lies we fall for when we were children, as www.marquessamatthews.com lamented in an earlier post. I shared her top ten lies here.

We carry some lies, or add new ones, when we reach adulthood. The book lists 22 lies that we use to beat ourselves up. We go around in circles thinking we are not good enough.

We diet, exercise, dress fashionably, acquire degrees, and take high stress jobs to be good enough. We mimic others trying to make ourselves worthy of love. We are already worthy of love.

The biggest change for me had to do with relinquishing control. I am a bookkeeper and I am good with money. When we got married, my husband said I should handle the family finances.

The thought struck me four years ago that I could die first. My husband had no clue about the passwords and where money was invested.

The book recommended giving the responsibility of the family finances to your husband. This was not a new concept to me. He took over the finances when we first married, but his promised paycheck was delayed and a few checks bounced. I assumed that meant I was to keep the finances.

I decided to give it to him permanently a few years ago. Oh the arguments we had! It was easier to let me handle the money than to learn Quickbooks. But he did.

He thought of ways to increase our interest that I had not thought of and I started sleeping at night instead of worrying about money. We set the budget together and I know how much I can spend in each category.

I am a saver and he is a spender. Since he took over the finances I have been:

1. On a scenic train trip.
2. Spent a day at the Iowa State Fair.
3. Took a Steamboat Dinner Cruise.
4. Bought a van with cash.

He has accompanied me on those trips and went to two St. Louis Cardinals games and two Iowa Hawkeye games.

I did not accompany him to those for obvious reasons.

(I hate sports.)